Contrary to what anyone might think, I’m not always running naked around Cloister Abbey. There are times when proper, formal attire is required. At dinner gatherings, garden parties, or when a repair man comes to fix a broken air conditioner or to inspect the electric meter, some form of garb is necessary to hide one’s excitement.
In my case, sarongs are my preferred fashion accessory when modesty or local authorities call for it. Lesser folk may think of sarongs as man-skirts (shudder!), a longer form of kilt (perish the thought!), or something one wears at a summer gay resort (really?!), but this could not be further from the truth. Sarongs are proper male attire and should be regarded as such regardless of where one lives. I’m of the mind they should be as ubiquitous as glans-rings on penii (henceforth, the plural for penis shall be penii) or butt-plugs up one’s hoo-hoo, but now I’m treading on fetish preferences.
A sarong is not a skirt. Rather, it is is a large piece of fabric sewn in tube form that is then wrapped around the waist. Sarongs are popular in the Indian subcontinent, Southeast Asia, Sri Lanka, and the Arabian Peninsula; they are also a very popular form of clothing on many Pacific islands. The fabric often has a woven plaid or checkered pattern to it, or may be brightly colored by means of batik dyeing. Modern sarongs may have printed designs, often depicting animals or plants. I’ve no idea how or why modern sarongs have Celtic designs to them, but I’ve seen stranger things at gay pride parades and circuit parties. Different types of sarongs are worn in different places in the world, notably, the lungi in the Indian subcontinent and the izaar in the Arabian Peninsula. Sarongs also go by many names: kikoy, lamba, pareo, sulu, capulana, kanga, fouta, lungi, nisan to name a few.
Sarongs are not only worn by women either. In Malay, men wear sarongs with a checked pattern only when attending Friday prayers at the mosque. Traditionally, Arab fishermen in the Persian Gulf, Red Sea, and Indian Ocean also wear sarongs. In Sri Lanka, sarongs are traditionally worn only by men and mostly within the home as it signifies lower class stature in Sri Lankan culture.
At Cloister Abbey, my manservant Clive and I are fond of wrapping ourself in a pareo when we stroll the gardens at sundown or when lying around by a friend’s pool during a weekend party. I find them essential when sitting on white or light fabric furniture during a naked gathering. At the local nude beach, sarongs are a fine garment to wear to and from the parking area where local authorities insist one wear a garment when going to or coming from the beach. And to me, there’s nothing sexier than a man coming out of the ocean wearing a wet sarong that clings stubbornly to his body, inciting torrid fantasies about what lies beneath.
So come to my pool parties wearing a sarong or nothing at all. No matter which you prefer, we’ll all feel much comfortable when lying about lazily in each others arms.
